Monday, January 2, 2017

Requiem for a Cat

Hermes Bip Catbert (2005 - 2017)

Brown tabby and radio personality Hermes B. Catbert, whose fierce purrs won the hearts of countless buddies across Oregon and California, passed away peacefully today at the age of 11. 

Born in Coos Bay, Oregon in summer 2005, Hermes spent his youth surrounded by community college theater students in a squalid apartment in a charming neighborhood known as "Methpire." He repaid his beloved humans for his adoption with snuggles and the worst case of ringworm Coos County health professionals had ever seen. 

In 2006, Hermes met his would-be talk show co-host and life partner Millicent Moo Lightfoot Catbert. The two shared a tempestuous relationship, earning them the moniker "the Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor of the feline world." Despite their troubled romance, the two developed and hosted the recommended and hella splendid Hermes and Moo Radio Show between 2007 and 2015. When Hermes was fired by the station for his controversial remarks about the value of dogs as pets, Moo resigned in solidarity and protest. Together, they returned to school, where they both earned degrees in nursing and nannying. 
Hermes loved sunny windowsills, unwatched plates full of people food, picking at bedsheets with a single claw at 4:30 am, tiny hats, and snuggling with his main buddy, Jason, at the end of a long day. If you were stressed or ill, he would never hesitate to lend a tender, comforting paw.

Mr. Catbert is survived by his life partner Moo, his humans Jason and Elizabeth, his charge Teddy, and a nameless sister who probably lives on the streets of Coos Bay. 

In lieu of flowers, the family requests memorial contributions be made to the Friends of of Coos County Animals and the Coos County Animal Shelter.

1 comment:

  1. A random assortment of Hermes memories:
    - "Clap along if you feel like a cat without a cone."
    - His chirps of greeting and contentment.
    - How he would pounce on our faces bite our noses in an attempt to wake us up when he was a kitten.
    - How he learned to turn on the alarm clock when he was on older cat.
    - How he would gently rest a paw on your hand if you were feeling ill.